


Daenerys Targaryen's Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Yara Greyjoy Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure

by irrationalkate



Series: Jon x Sansa Remix 2017 [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, The Office AU, dany is michael scott, rated t for saucy language, with supporting roles from gendry loras and yara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 10:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12033771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irrationalkate/pseuds/irrationalkate
Summary: "And every morning, at 8:30 exactly, he goes over to Stark and starts to flirt.""And when did you notice this?""Since I started working here.""You've been working here for three years!"-The Office AU - featuring Jon and Sansa as Jim and Pam





	Daenerys Targaryen's Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Yara Greyjoy Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure

**Author's Note:**

> follows the Office 4.01 "Fun Run" pretty closely for those who care to know!

> _ ""Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised." -Michael Scott " -Daenerys Targaryen _

* * *

 

__ Valar Morghulis Paper Supply, Dragonstone Branch   
8:37AM   
  
After Jon Snow had come back from working at the Eastwatch Branch of V.M. after breaking up with his girlfriend Ygritte, Gendry had pretty much taken it as a given that he and Sansa, the pretty secretary who had dumped her loser fiancée Harry a few months ago, would get together already. After all, they'd both been making eyes at each other since he could remember. But apparently they were just friends. Jon had said so himself, and Gendry knew he was a terrible liar.    
  
Gendry glanced away from his computer screen and over to Jon on the far side of the office. He'd been staring at the same spreadsheet on and off for the last five minutes, not truly seeing it. He was too bewildered by the behavior of the man across the room.    
  
"Waters.... knock it off. The way you stare at Jon Snow I'm starting to think Sansa's little sister is just a beard for you."    
  
He paid no mind to his cubicle companion and only continued to stare. "He's late, Loras. It's 8:37."   
  
Loras raised an eyebrow nearly hidden by his curly mop. "He came in right on time. He's sitting right over there."   
  
He looked over at his fellow accountant. Loras' clothes were impeccably tailored as always and Gendry shifted uncomfortably in his secondhand suit coat and tried not to dwell on it. "Lor... he gets into the office at eight every morning. Like fucking clockwork. I've never seen him be late. Not once."   
  
"Well, he is former military."   
  
"And every morning, at 8:30 exactly, he goes over to Stark and starts to flirt."   
  
"And when did you notice this?"   
  
"Since I started working here."   
  
Loras gaped. "You've been working here for - " He paused to think about it "Over three years!"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
Loras leaned down so that his voice didn't carry, bending at the waist to speak close to Gendry's ear. "You're telling me that every morning for the past three years, Jon Snow has walked over to Sansa Stark's desk and flirted with her, in his awkward, stilted way, at exactly half past eight?"   
  
"Yeah. Except when he went to the Eastwatch branch."   
  
"And you noticed that since day one."   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"You need a bloody hobby."   
  
"Gods, I know," he groaned, running his hand over his face. "I'm so far gone waiting for them to finally get together. Do you remember when that idiot Harry came into the office and brought apology flowers that Sansa is allergic to? And Sansa cried about it, so Jon went out to her favorite takeaway place - which he knew without asking - and brought her lunch? He's been in love with her for years... I'm so invested and I don't even know if the payoff will be worth it at this point. And I even gave them a portmanteau in my head."   
  
"A portmanteau? Like the former prime minister and his ex-wife?" Back when Rhaegar Targaryen had been assumed to be blissfully married to Elia Martell, the people had called them 'Rhaegelia.' Loras hoped Gendry had a better name for Jon and Sansa.   
  
"Yep. I call them... Sanjon."   
  
"What? No, Gendry, that's horrible." Loras sat in his chair and spun around. "Snow... Stark.... how about - _Snark?_ "   
  
Their boss burst through the front door, interrupting their conversation and loudly demanding everybody's attention. There was a lot that could be said about Daenerys Targaryen, the Regional Manager of Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Branch, and not all of it very flattering. But, Gendry reflected, even the horrible fluorescent lighting of their office couldn't make her look unattractive.    
  
"Bad news, everyone," Daenerys said, clasping her hands in front of her solemnly. She pitched forward a bit in her black pumps and sighed. "This morning, Yara was hit by a car."   
  
Everyone in the office came to attention. Mel even looked up from Megachurch of Rh'llor's livestream. Jon, who had been leaning across Sansa's desk, straightened immediately. "What? Where did it happen?"   
  
"It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital."   
  
"Oh my god," Sansa said. Her voice quavered a bit and Jon leaned back down to grasp her hand in his. Yara was her closest friend in the office, aside from Jon. "Is she okay?"    
  
Their boss looked around the room for a long moment, silent and serious-faced. "The doctors tried to save her life..."   
  
A aura of disbelief settled in the air. Jon and Sansa exchanged a horrified look before they turned back to Daenerys with baited breath.   
  
"....and they succeeded."   
  
Everyone in the office groaned collectively. Daenerys scowled. "What? _What?!"_   
  
"Daenerys..." Jon said, in a placating yet long-suffering voice, "Why did you phrase it like that?"   
  
"Seven hells, Dany, I almost had a heart attack!" Loras yelled. "What is wrong with you?!" Several others began to grumble, their voices raising in pitch -    
  
"But she's going to be okay?" Sansa said loudly over the complaints. Everyone settled down at that, since Sansa never raised her voice. Dany smiled at her. "Yes, she's going to be fine. She has a slight... pelvical fracture - but should make a full recovery."   
  
"Well," Stannis begrudgingly said, "Thank Rh'llor you were there. Did you see who did it?"   
  
"We can just check the security tapes," Jon pointed out. "I'm sure the cops will want to see them when they come to take Dany's statement anyway." He began to move toward the back of the office.    
  
"So, kind of a good news/bad news situation here," Daenerys said as she blocked Jon's path toward the security room. He narrowed his eyes at her. "I was on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her."   
  
From the far corner of the room, Davos' furrowed his brow and spoke up.   
  
"...who was driving?"   
  
Her silence was answer enough. Sansa dropped her head into her hands. "Seven save us..."   


* * *

The hospital visit was sufficiently uncomfortable. Sansa had attempted to arrange shifts for them all to go, so that the office wouldn't be unattended and that Yara wouldn't be overwhelmed with people. Daenerys had quickly shut that down, insisting that they all go together in a show of teamsmanship. Except for Stannis, who had steadfastly refused to abandon his post and was determined to help every single client who called in their absence and prove once and for all that he was the superior salesman.    
  
Sansa managed to slip in ahead of everyone and apologize to Yara.    
  
"I'm so sorry. I tried to stop her."   
  
Yara laughed a bit, before it devolved into a pained grimace. "She ran me over with a fucking Ferrari named Drogon... You couldn't stop her, Stark."   
  
"Here she is!" Daenerys cooed, heels clacking on the linoleum as she strode to Yara's beside. She gripped three balloons decorated with injured cartoon animals in one hand and nudged Sansa aside with a shoulder. Everybody shuffled in, most looking uncomfortable, and Yara's scowl deepened. "How are you feeling?"   
  
"Terrible," Yara replied, before sipping resentfully from a can of cola with a neon pink straw. She then belched loudly. "I can't move without pain."   
  
Daenerys frowned. Aemon Targaryen, an uncle of Dany's who worked as the quality assurance manager, came around to the other side.    
  
"Pain? That's no good," he said. He took her hand in a grandfatherly fashion which Yara accepted with hesitance. Aemon was a bit of a mystery. Nobody really knew anything about him, even his niece. "What do they have you on? Codeine?"   
  
"Don't think so. Honestly, I'm still a little - "   
  
"Vicodin? Percocet? Fentanyl?"   
  
"Um..."   
  
"OxyContin? Palladone -?"   
  
"Alright, thanks for those words of comfort, Aemon," Jon said, putting his arm around the old man's shoulders and leading him away.   
  
"Isn't it great?" Dany gushed after the silence went uncomfortably long. "All of us here, as a team..."   
  
Yara glared. "That's how we usually are. Except we're in the office, and not a hospital."   
  
"You know what I think would be kinda fun?" Dany said, ignoring her. "If you, you know, forgave me. In front of everybody, right now."     
  
"I'm not going to do that."   
  
Dany's lip stuck out petulantly. Behind her, Jon and Sansa looked at each other with mounting alarm, trying to predict her next move and act accordingly. Daenerys rallied and tried again, ignoring (or perhaps oblivious of) the discomfort of her employees.   
  
"You know what they say in the Seven Pointed Star. It is in the spirit of the Maiden to offer forgiveness when wronged," she tried in a lofty voice. Yara's glare deepened into a full-blown snarl.   
  
"I don't keep the Seven, and you cracked my pelvis with a fucking sportscar. You are not forgiven."   
  
"Ms. Greyjoy?"   
  
"Oh thank the Drowned God," Yara muttered. "Yes?" She said more loudly as the nurse made her way through the crowd of people.    
  
"We have some of your test results back." The nurse's eyes roamed over the large group. "It might be best for your friends to leave so that we can talk."   
  
"Co-workers," she corrected.    
  
"Family!" Said Daenerys at the same time. "We're like her family. Whatever you have to say to Yara, you can say in front of us."   
  
"They are not my family," Yara said to the nurse. "Do not give them any of my information. This woman is the reason I'm in the hospital."   
  
Sansa quickly began to herd her fellow employees out of the room with Jon's help, casting alarmed glances over her shoulder when she saw Dany's scowl. Surely, she wouldn't try anything too insane with Yara prone in a hospital bed...   
  
"We've got to put this behind us, Yara," Daenerys said formally, somehow menacing even at five feet two inches. She stepped forward and raised one knee to the bed. Yara's nostrils flared in alarm. "We need to come together -"    
  
_ "DANY, NO!" _   


* * *

After Daenerys had attempted to force kumbayah with Yara by climbing into her hospital bed and thusly irritating her pelvic fracture, she had been forcibly removed from the hospital by security. She had yelled loudly outside that she would reclaim her employee's love by any means necessary - a rant which had included something about "fire and blood," much to everyone's alarm - before she could be convinced to get into Sansa's car.   
  
Then it had come to the attention of the office, via Human Resources, that Yara had rabies; a fact which never would have been discovered if she had not been admitted to the hospital.    
  
"This accident was a blessing in disguise," A triumphant Dany announced to the office after getting off the phone with her immediate superior. "If I had never hit Yara with my car, we never would've known that she had rabies!"   
  
"Didn't she contract rabies on company property too?" Jon said innocently, ignoring Stannis' glare as he referenced a previous incident involving Yara, Stannis, and an escaped bat. Daenerys plowed onward.    
  
"While I'm so happy to be the hero of this story, we can all do our part to end rabies. So, I'm organizing a little event for tomorrow. I'm calling it: Daenerys Targaryen's Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Yara Greyjoy Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure!"   
  
Sansa looked at Jon and mouthed 'Rabies awareness?' His shoulders shook with silent laughter. Dany's sharp gaze and a rap of her knuckles on Sansa's desk brought her back to attention.   
  
"Sansa, why aren't you writing this down? It's important. Now, when anybody calls today, I want you to say: "Hello, we're raising money for Daenerys Targaryen's Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Yara Greyjoy Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race for the Cure! How much would you like to give today?"   
  
As if commanded by magic, the phone rang. Sansa stared at it, stricken, and then up at her boss. Dany smiled encouragingly at her and Jon smirked from behind Dany's back.    
  
"Go on, just like we practiced!"   
  
Sansa sighed and picked up. "Hello, we're raising money for Daenerys Targaryen's Valar Morghulis Dragonstone Yara Greyjoy Memorial - ..." She placed the phone back in the receiver. "They hung up."   
  
Daenerys waved her off. "More pep, next time, Stark! No wonder they hung up!" She turned on her heel to address everyone. "I would like for everyone to make it a personal goal to raise to one thousand golden stags!"   
  
Jon's smirk was long gone. "What? You're asking the impossible."   
  
"With an attitude like that it is! My Jorah has already called to donate five hundred golden stags."   
  
"Isn't he unemployed right now?" Stannis said. "That's your money."   
  
Daenerys ignored reality with a practiced grace and flounced away.  Sansa raised an eyebrow at Jon as their boss started to badger Davos. Jon pressed his elbow to her desk, his face leaning against his hand. Her eyes flicked to his arms, admiring his biceps and the way the rolled cuffs of his grey button-down highlighted them, and then up to his dark eyes. One lone curl had escaped his man-bun. Five o'clock couldn't come soon enough...    
  
"Better get to it, Jon Snow," Sansa said as she flicked her red hair over her shoulder, leaned forward and crossed her arms under her bust. "It'll take a long time for you to raise a thousand stags for a disease that's already been cured."    
  
He sighed sadly. "Time and energy that's much better spent elsewhere," he said in a low voice, looking down the front of her blouse shamelessly - just as she'd intended. Her cheeks heated despite herself and Jon grinned. "Oh, you're wearing my favorite one - "   
  
"Yours too? Perhaps you could model it for me?" She asked tartly as she arched one auburn eyebrow. The effect was likely ruined by her still-red cheeks.    
  
"Blue. And lacy. Clasps in the front... easy to take off."   
  
Sansa pelted him with Jolly Ranchers from her candy jar and shooed him back to his desk as he sniggered at her. She could feel her face radiating heat. "It's not blue, it's navy, you utter bastard," she hissed, loud enough for him to hear, though not so loud somebody else might. Or so she thought.   
  
"What's navy, Sans?"    
  
A handful of hard candies clattered around her desk. Loras was looking down at her with an easy grin. She adored Loras. Both of them were in a similar situation of trying to make their own way in the world without relying on their families, and he had a wicked sense of humor. But he was the last person she would want to find out that she and Jon were officially together; he possessed horrible propensity to tease and an inability to keep a secret. He and Marg were so alike that way.   
  
"Nothing," she bit out. "Here, have a green apple flavor, I know that's your favorite.  So, what's up? Have you already raised a thousand stags for the cure? Poor Yara is counting on us, you know."   


* * *

Loras made a beeline for Gendry after a brief stop at Sansa's desk. The relief on her face when he failed to mention her and Jon was what had given her away - that, and their not-so-whispered conversation about her bra color. It was personally embarrassing to Loras that he had taken this long to notice they were together, honestly.   
  
"There's a reason he's not flirting on schedule," he said, rolling a pencil between his palms.  Gendry leaned back in his desk chair and looked up at his fellow accountant with interest.    
  
"Oh yeah?"   
  
"They're fucking."   
  
Gendry wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Ain't life beautiful?"

* * *

**BONUS**   
_Later that week_ __   
  
The break room was empty except for them. Completely by accident, Sansa and Jon both had ended up taking their lunches late, a fact which had been accompanied by the hoots and jeers of their coworkers. She dug into her lemon-flavored yogurt and tried not to get annoyed with them. Sansa wasn't ashamed of her relationship with Jon, it was just that everyone who worked in their office was insane, and they had wanted to avoid the attention.     
  
Thanks to a rather awkward outing from their HR guy, Petyr, the whole office was now aware of their relationship.    
  
"I can't believe this," Dany had sobbed, wrapping an arm around either one of them. "It's like my two kids have grown up and married each other. It's every parents' dream."   
  
Maybe he saw the lines forming on her brow; maybe he could sense it. Jon's left hand had dropped to her thigh. It was nothing sexual - only the warm weight of his hand just above her knee. She glanced over and smiled at him, a stupid, dopey smile no doubt.   
  
"Oh... I didn't mean to interrupt."   
  
Sansa exhaled, trying to release the tension from her jaw.    
  
"We're actually just eating," Jon said to Cersei Lannister, Sansa's personal arch-nemesis. His voice was quite pleasant, nicer than she could've made hers sound at the moment anyway, and he squeezed her knee under the table reassuringly. Cersei smiled her fake smile at Sansa.   
  
"Well, I couldn't see your hands." She lifted her hand in front of her face to examine her nailbeds. "I'm so happy for you two. You're very well-matched for each other."   
  
"Thank you," Sansa said, even though she knew the other woman didn't mean it as a compliment.    
  
Cersei's green gaze then sharpened unpleasantly. "I just want to remind you that when a new client calls, you have to randomly assign them to a salesperson.... not give preference to whomever you're sleeping with this week."   
  
"I'm aware of company policy, thank you," Sansa said through gritted teeth as Cersei swept away, not bothering to wait for a response.    
  
"Did she think I was fucking Stannis? Davos? Who else would I be sleeping with?!" Sansa shoved a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth gracelessly.    
  
"Gendry, maybe?"   
  
"Fuck off, Snow."   
  


**Author's Note:**

> it's been 84 years(TM) since i wrote or posted fic....be gentle y'all


End file.
